The cloud Story
I was walking down the street and I looked up in the sky. I seen a massive cloud hovering over my head. It looked cool because a traffic light was in the cloud. I followed the cloud and then the cloud. And then it moved in a different direction and I heard a person saying fire and the cloud turned into a Storm And hovered over to the fire. Then the fire started to fade away in the air. And then the cloud faded away in Far Far away hovering over the ocean and it was never seen again.
A few days ago we started writing about this video clip called the cloud and then we had to make a story about the video..
Hi Corbyn its Risha I love your cloud story. I loved the part when you said "I seen a massive cloud hovering over my head." Just 2 thing did not sound right the first thing was when you were on your third line you said " I followed the cloud and then the cloud." The second thing I saw was fifth line you had a capital for Then The.
ReplyDeleteHi Corbyn, it's Michaela, I was just looking at your good work. I thought your words really made sense. Next time you could check that you only have capital letters at the beginning of your sentences
ReplyDeleteHey Corbyn,
ReplyDeleteWhat a great story! A traffic light in a cloud would definitely make me want to follow it! I am wondering if you could think of a more interesting title... "the cloud" does not make me want to stop and read your story - but I am glad I did!